Horror Movie Reviews: The Original "Hellraiser", 1987 (Classic Horror Movies Films)

Hellraiser (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)Best OOEY GOO-Ey YUCKy horror movie ever! The original "Hellraiser". 

Yeah, the Alien Series... they were ooey gooey and SCARY. This one may not be as scary (now) but, geez, is it CREEPY...still!

And that makes it so much fun. Imagine being on the Special Effects Make-up crew! WOW. Good job, guys. It still holds up after all these years.

The guy that wore the "goo" suit... I wonder just how much he got paid.Was it fun or just disgustingly GROSS?!

Best (Stupid) Lines:
"They'll never find us... not in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!"

"It's Uncle Frank... Come to Daddy!"

By the way, this is Clive Barker's directorial debut. 

P.S. Was SHE really considered a Hottie back in '87? WTF.

AND like the demons can't see that he is DOWNSTAIRS?! "Demons to some. Angels to others." Yeah, right.

I love how HORROR movies get less HORRIFIC as time goes on... and Sci-Fi's get LESS SCIENTIFIC.  It's one of TIME'S little gifts to us... change.

And, oh, the lovely stench of dead husks rotting in the attic. Mmm.

*I've done an autopsy. I KNOW what that SMELLS like! J. C. I hope you never have to experience it.

And, oh, the ending... DISGUSTE-MUNDO!!! Just glorious.

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Best HORROR Movies: HOUSE, 1986 Comedy Humor

Image by Mirka23 via FlickrThe most HILARIOUS "Horror Movie" ever!... "House, 1986" with William Katt (had a crush on him back then).

Check out his Bio. Had no idea he'd been keeping so busy all this time:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001411/maindetails

This movie is so FUNNY (AND even scary at times!), I laughed so hard. Haven't had so much fun since "Poltergeist".

The token HOT GIRL reminds me of Bo Derek in "10". Ahh, the 80's... Definitely had a swim suit like that. But I'm sure I didn't look quite the same in it.

The flashbacks to Vietnam are a bit odd. But, whatever. If you like this genre, you'll have a great time.

I know. I know. THIS IS HOW I'M SPENDING MY XMAS EVE.  ; )

P.S. George Wendt (of Cheers) adds to the fun. And if you've never seen "Night Court" (a TV series) with Richard Mull (also in this movie), check it out. It was awesome humor in its time.

Available now on Netflix Instant Play (I receive no compensation for this endorsement).

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Horror Movie Reviews: "The Descent: Part 2"

Image via WikipediaWell... I cannot see Part 1 because of Netflix's new asinine rules. But I'm really enjoying Part 2 of "The Descent". Very Aussie (I think). Perhaps that's why the girls are all so gorgeous.

It's way more claustrophobic than "Buried" (alive) with (my new favorite actor, Ryan Reynolds. He can do anything!).

Personally, I don't know why anyone would crawl down into a dark hole in the ground... esp. for fun. Ugh. My worst nightmare.

Then add a few man-eating humanoid creatures and you have this film. A bit gory. A bit scary. But... all in all (since I would never be that stupid in the first place), I'm not impressed.

If you like dark, tight places with moments of abject terror, go for it. Otherwise, the monsters are not that creative and it is "bloody hell!"

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Movie Reviews: "Organizm" Sci Fi Horror Films

Cover of Organizm

This movie's fairly recent, 2008, and is probably a B+ film, but I found it quite entertaining actually. In fact, I was  on the edge of my seat at times... there were moments when it was even AWESOME (like when they find the tank and also the opening scene with the bullet that pierces both the BLANK and the BLANK)! Gruesome.

And don't miss the BLOOD scene. OMG. You'll know what I'm talking about when you get there. But, really, did we need to see her breasts? Plus... the closing sequence is delightfully grotesque. All in all it was a bit cliche but still a whole lotta fun.

The lead character (the talented Johnathon Schaech as Frank Sears) is a look-a-like for Peter Gallagher (from one of my favorite films of all time: "Summer Lovers"). For Peter Gallagher images CLICK HERE.

I haven't talked about it in a while. So I just wanted to mention that, although Sci Fi/Horror Movie Reviews and fitness may seem a world apart. They're actually not. It was upon my PTSD counselor's prodding that I began watching horror films. I had been avoiding them... anything scary at all. But she insisted that it would be good for my mental health, as "desensitization" therapy.

And indeed it has been. I am less easily startled and have fewer "trigger words" (particular words that would set off a panic attack/episode). I have become desensitized with the added bonus of discovering that I really enjoy this genre for its entertainment value.

TRAILER "Organizm" aka "Living Hell":

 

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Movie Reviews: The Warlock (Sci Fi, Super Natural, Horror)

Image via Wikipedia

Movie Review: The Warlock, 1989

I Loooove this movie! How did I ever miss it? You should know by now that I love Silly Sci Fi and Silly Horror flicks.

This one is a classic 80's horror film. So nicely done that after more than 20 years it still holds its own.

If you don't mind Satanic/Black Magic Horror you'll enjoy it immensely as I did.

Lori Singer is great. She reminds me of the early Daryl Hannah in Blade Runner... a delightful Vatta (Ayerveda for Hollywood's favorite type: tall and thin).

Best Line: "Let your attention lie before you not beside you."


P.S. I abhor the FACT that many innocents died in the name of Witchcraft but, for modern day stress relief, this movie is kinda fun.

 

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Movie Reviews: Nature's Grave (Horror, Suspense)

Cover of Nature's Grave

The first thing I have to say about this flick is... OOHHH!!

But... I still Looooovvvvee Jim Caviezel. He's as sexy as ever, even as the...

A family goes camping on a remote Australian coastline. Doesn't sound fun to begin with and... it certainly wasn't fun to end with. I was expecting to see a few crocs but was actually surprised by the animal choices.

It's weird how I hung in there as long as I did (till the bitter end), as if I was straining to see a traffic accident or train wreck on the drive by. I knew exactly what was coming and yet I strained.

SHE just wasn't concerned enough about his glassy-eyed ravings. HE ended up being the good guy. That's really not giving it away. I promise.

Hmm. A really odd movie. I have to say that I liked it, though. Not exactly sure why. Maybe it was his loyalty to the dog... or a few laughable "nature strikes back" scenes. I don't know.

If you like being on the edge of your seat, annoyed by the knowing of what's coming next but still being thrilled by it. Well then... you'll like this movie.

And J.C., mmm. Even after all this, he's still on my Top 10 list. I wouldn't hesitate a bit. He's a DILF... a Dad I'd I'd love to...

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