A while back I started with "Shaun of the Dead", funny but gross and it did give me nightmares. Then I tried "Zombie Land" with Woody Harrelson. Again, the same results: funny, gross, nightmares. So I put that on hold for a while and went back to my old stand-by: Alien Sci-Fi Horror. But good ones are few and far between.
I hate Zombie movies. Number one, because they are based in reality: Haitian Voodoo practices where, generally, Black Magic Witch Doctors drugged people into appearing dead (actually fooling doctors).
They then buried them, only to dig them up later (still alive). Certainly a traumatic experience in and of itself. But these Black Magic practitioners took it a step further by convincing their victims that they actually were the "walking dead".
I imagine the drug they used is somewhat Rufi-like... allowing the "Maker" free license to direct the victim.
The drug was featured in the fantastic Wes Craven film "The Serpent and the Rainbow"... and is now used in American medical practices. The movie was inspired, apparently, by a "true documentary", a book written by, ethnobotanist, Wade Davis, 1985.
From Wikipedia:
"The drug named in the film is tetrodotoxin. In the actual "zombification" case of Clairvius Narcisse
of Haiti, the poison that caused the appearance of death was reported
to be tetrodotoxin. After he was unburied, he was given a brew derived
from Datura stramonium, which he claimed had mind control properties." So... for full effect, there were two drugs?!
Anyway, the number two reason I hate zombie movies is that they involve cannibalism, another really dreadful thing that has actually occurred in history. Ironically, in most zombies movies, people develop into zombies because of some apocolyptic virus that infects them. But the fact of the matter is, that that theme is entirely backwards.
It was actually a virus that did in cannibalism. You might remember something called "Mad Cow Disease".
Apparently, beef were fed beef which resulted in a catastrophic event.
An animal cannot devour its own kind due some kind of enzymatic process
that results in... well, Mad Cow Disease.
But, even before that, there was a human-originated virus that did in the New Guinea population (known cannibalists).
Cannibalistic cultures have existed throughout time, from New Guinea to the Caribbean with cases reported well into the late '70s, I might add. Most were due to the ceremonial practice of eating the remains of one's relatives (AFTER they passed away)... for spiritual union.
But, in some cases, they munched on their enemies. In the Caribbean, the last known cases were those of a Catholic Jesuit Priest and his nuns.
For my first foray back into the world of zombies, Netflix suggested the Classic "Night of the Comet"( "Hey, I'm sorry if the end of the world makes me a little nervous"). Of course, I was creeped out right away and put it on hold (even with all its 80's charm), and I wondered 'What was the first Zombie movie? A search pulled up this gem: "The White Zombie" from 1936, starring none other than Boris Karloff.
If you put aside all the early over-acting, it's actually a lot of fun. I was hooked. So today I'm after the first horror movie ever made. I'll let you know how it goes. I found "The Golem", 1920. Can't wait to check it out. First written in 1914!
What was interesting about the lead into this one was that it was a monster set out to destroy the Jewish population. Think about it... Hitler came shortly thereafter.
Later: Got side-tracked and found another zombie film with a humorous, campy slant: A 2009 New Zealand release called "Last of the Living". I found it just precious and it's probably my favorite so far. If you like this genre, I think you'll really enjoy this one... three fraternity buddies enjoy post-apocalyptic reign until...
However, although I LOVED the soundtrack... I hated the ending. Still, it's worthy a watch.
My favorite line:
"Well, STUFF YOU!" (after one of them is razzed for wearing too much zombie protective gear).
My Gratitude Statement for Today:
I am grateful that zombies are slow, dull-witted, and are only impervious to bullets until you chop their heads off. ; )
This movie's fairly recent, 2008, and is probably a B+ film, but I found it quite entertaining actually. In fact, I was on the edge of my seat at times... there were moments when it was even AWESOME (like when they find the tank and also the opening scene with the bullet that pierces both the BLANK and the BLANK)! Gruesome.
And don't miss the BLOOD scene. OMG. You'll know what I'm talking about when you get there. But, really, did we need to see her breasts? Plus... the closing sequence is delightfully grotesque. All in all it was a bit cliche but still a whole lotta fun.
I haven't talked about it in a while. So I just wanted to mention that, although Sci Fi/Horror Movie Reviews and fitness may seem a world apart. They're actually not. It was upon my PTSD counselor's prodding that I began watching horror films. I had been avoiding them... anything scary at all. But she insisted that it would be good for my mental health, as "desensitization" therapy.
And indeed it has been. I am less easily startled and have fewer "trigger words" (particular words that would set off a panic attack/episode). I have become desensitized with the added bonus of discovering that I really enjoy this genre for its entertainment value.
YOU'RE THE BEST Nothing's Ever Gonna Keep You Down:
Joe Esposito's 'You're The Best' from Karate Kid soundtrack.
On a personal note:
I'm really needing this video right now. I recently got a "great job". But it's a BAD schedule, one that is keeping me from my yoga and martial arts classes.
I've applied for going part-time (which is an opening I should have waited for in the first place). But these days you don't turn down job offers, especially after months without work. My thought was 'If I could just get my foot in the door'. So now I'm receiving a paycheck but I'm depressed. I guess I have no choice but to be patient.
Frankly, I'd rather be drawing caricatures (funny faces) for tourists in paradise.
I keep hand-written notes daily, from which I get my blog ideas
Keeping Journals is one of the best things you can do for your mental health and well-being. And a blog is no more than an online journal.
And…
It’s unbelievably easy to get started with a blog on Blogspot. Plus, it’s absolutely FREE!
What is a blog? Blog is short for "web log" or "web diary". Some people call writing in this diary or log: "journaling" and journaling is good for you. It can be good for others too... if you go public and they like what you write.
If you don’t have a Google Account you will need to create one. But it’s easy. Just fill in the blanks. Don’t worry if you use another account for your emails. I use Yahoo Mail and have never had a problem.
Once you’ve created your account, sign in, and then click “Get Started” on the Blogspot Home Page.
Then all you need to do is follow the prompts. Decide on a name for your blog and use it as part of your URL (your blog’s address on the web). Learn more about “URL” here:
To decide on a name for your blog, consider your subject and then do a keyword search. If the top keywords for your subject are in the title of your blog and also in your blog’s address, you’re doing great. It will place you higher in search results, thereby giving you more hits (readers of your blog!).
How to add video to your blog post. Adding video to your blog is easier than you think. If you have videos that you like on YouTube or have uploaded there yourself, just go to YouTube and find the video you want to transfer. Underneath the video you will see several buttons: Like, Add To, Share, and Embed.
Click on the one that says Embed. A code will pop up. Make sure it is highlighted then copy and paste it to your blog. To do this, make sure that your Edit Posts page is set to Edit HTML. Then place it where you want it and hit Save Draft or Publish. Your video should now be on your page.
How to find keywords. To find popular searches using keywords and phrases, search “Google Keyword Tool”. It’s free and easy. At the top of the page you will see two ads that look about the same. But one is in pink. This means it is a paid advertisement. Below it, in the white part, is another one.
The white area is called “The organic listing area”. This means that these items have popped up based solely on your search criteria. They did not pay to be at the top of the page. Most people click here first because they believe, whether it’s true or not, that these items will give them more genuine results, more honest businesses, etc.
So, the “Keyword Google Tool” at the top of the page in the pink reads “Get Qualified Visitors To Your Site Place Your Ad On Google Today!”. That is not what we want. We want the one that reads “Enter one keyword or phrase per line to see what related word searches your ad will show on”.
So click on that one and it will bring you to the Google Adwords page with two boxes at the top. We are only concerned with the one that says “word or phrase”. Type in the word or phrase you are searching for and voila! It will bring up a number of search terms divided by global monthly searches and local monthly searches. Depending on your business, whether you are seeking global contacts or just local business prospects, look in that section.
Then take note of the search terms from highest to lowest number. This should help you, not only choose the name for your site, but also in selecting the words you use in your articles (to bring a greater number of readers to your site).
Now, you’ll need to have more than one option for your title and address, in case it is already being used by someone else. So plug in your choice and proceed. Blogspot will let you know if your blog address is taken, and offer up a couple of alternative selections.
On the page that is Step 2, click on a template that looks nice, hit continue, and you have your blog. If you don’t like your template, you can change it any time.
Click on “Start Blogging” and it will take you to the posting page. Now you will want to click on each of the tabs and highlighted areas to learn more about your blog. If you have questions, click on the HELP tab in the upper right hand corner of the page. You will be able to do searches here regarding any area in which you are having trouble. If your question is not answered to your satisfaction there are also Video Tutorials and a Help Forum. Plus, there is always, what my husband and I call “the Brain”… just do a regular search on the internet. Guaranteed, someone somewhere has already asked your question and received an answer.
Dream interpretation is a great self-therapy practice and something you should incorporate into your self-care routine. As I've stated before, the only book I use (and I use it daily) is The Dreamer's Dictionary by Robinson and Corbett.
Here are last night's dreams (remember that part of the mystery of dream interpretation is that the meanings are often contrary to what you might presume). Check out these mixed messages.
Dream: My partner and I are on a cruise ship (my most favorite thing in the world to do!) or in a fine hotel (either on vacation or a honeymoon). But someone has stolen my black leather purse. I try to find it but can't. I think I know how it was stolen and by whom. But it doesn't matter.
The toughest part is that we no longer have any cash or credit. We can't eat! No purchases of any kind, no restaurant meals, and especially no buffets (another one of my favorite things). It's frustrating as hell.
I keep trying to talk the Front Desk help into cutting us a break, but they just won't do it.
Loss of money: Contrary. You are likely to have a windfall.
Ship: Profitable ventures; success; think of the expression 'My ship is coming in!'.
Anxiety/Frustration: Contrary. Your worries will soon be relieved.
Robbery: Loss of money means that you should be careful how you handle your cash.
Abscond: Be careful not to give your affections unwisely.
Loss of great value: Warning: If you try to be too sharp you can end up cutting yourself!
Exercise. If you are just starting out exercising or have had a long break, go slow and by all means consult your physician, especially if you have health issues.
Remember to go at your own pace. It’s a good idea to set machines on Manual. That way you can lower or raise resistance to meet your daily fitness level. I call it Fitness by Feel™. Feel where you are and then push yourself right to the edge of what you can handle.
Listen closely to what your body is telling you. Back off when it becomes too much. Move forward when you have the strength and energy. Consistence is the key. When I first started on the stairmaster (at 23) I could only go for 4 minutes. Now I can do an hour. But it took time and patience… the new machines with TV monitors help a lot.
2 Hours (Since I've had to double my workout time with the slowered metabolism of menopause, I am committed now to at least 1 hour a day. But I've found that I really like the yin and yang of working out every other day and resting in between. Thus, the 2 hour workout was born.)
Warm-up: Jump rope and push-ups for 10 minutes then a 5 minute stretch. When you're new to jumping, it's important to find the right rope. It should fit you comfortably, not too long or too short. Measure the rope part, halved. It should reach from your armpit to the floor. If your lungs or calves need a break while jumping, just step in place for a minute, then start again.
Cardio Kickboxing: I did an hour class at the local Muay Thai Kickboxing Club. But a video at home would work just as well. A club is great because a class consists expressly of calisthenics and bagwork. Punching and kicking a bag are an awesome resistance workout.
As a woman ages it's especially important to have resistance training as we age to keep our bone mass. A couple of years ago I had a bone density test and was rated in the top 2%. Nice.
I once did surgery on a woman with osteoporosis. Her bones literally crumbled in my hands.
Jillian Michaels' experience is similar to mine. She also has a karate and yoga background. So I'm comfortable in recommending her kickboxing workouts. Some health clubs have dance-like kickboxing classes. If the moves are too fast or the instructor doesn't understand the dynamics of kicking, it's easy to injure yourself. Always end the kickboxing with a cool-down stretch. A few yoga moves are perfect.
EllipticalMachine: After class I did a nice steady fat burning pace on the elliptical machine for 15 minutes.
Bicycle: Then 10 minutes on a recumbent bicycle.
Treadmill: And topped it off with 20 minutes on the treadmill with a nice steady climb working up to levels 8-10 incline at a nice slow pace of 2.2 to 2.4. Did you know that you burn more calories walking on a high incline than you do running on a low one?
Image via WikipediaWay back in 2004, I was prescribed a “selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor” (SSRI) for my depression. It was Sertraline. Commonly known as Zoloft. It did nothing for my depression. It just made me sleepy while driving. So I was taken off of it.
That December, at an annual Christmas Eve party, I suffered a relapse of my PTSD anxiety because… someone died. I was outside enjoying my cocktail by the fire when, suddenly, someone came running out of the house,"Grab her!" he exclaimed, "She used to be a nurse.”
I was then hurriedly ushered into the bedroom of this home where a young woman was lying on the floor. The mother was pacing furiously back and forth across the room, in shock, eyes shut, frantically praying. The girl's sister and a friend had been doing CPR but, apparently too vigorously, as there was a good deal of blood everywhere.
I should have directed the sister to continue mouth-to-mouth while I administered chest compressions. But, in the moment, (and after a couple of drinks) I guess I wasn’t thinking that clearly. I immediately began mouth to mouth… mouth to bloody mouth while the sister continued chest compressions. It was gruesome. We didn’t even do Two-man-CPR. Like I said, I wasn’t thinking clearly.
I suspected she was already dead. My mind kept saying,"Don’t look into her eyes. Don’t look into her eyes." But I had to. Let me tell you, that’s a sight no one should ever have to see. They had already clouded over. It haunted me for days. I couldn’t get it out of my brain. It was just there. And all the blood and more… bits and pieces of a life lost.
I began to have panic attacks again. And parties? That was the end of that. I tried. Seven parties in a row was equivalent to seven waking nightmares. I went into a shell and became almost agoraphobic. It was time to go back into PTSD counseling.
So 2005-2009 was hell on earth and it just seemed to get worse… until I was having “episodes” every single day. The counselor never once mentioned to me, though, that an SSRI might help with my anxiety.
In fact, last December, with the whole Susan Powell thing, my paranoia worsened and my counselor had the audacity to say, “None of my other PTSD patients are fearful every day or afraid of their partners.” I felt affronted. Was she insinuating that I was making it all up? She was young and well-educated but inexperienced. I kept telling her that I was menopausal and that maybe part of all this was hormonal, systemic.
It wasn’t until I had returned from an exhausting family vacation (where I was paranoid and terrified the entire time) that things changed. And it wasn’t my PTSD counselor. It was my gynecologist, who I had mentioned this to, that said, “Oh, maybe we should changed your birth control pills. The estrogen is probably a little too high… and we could give you an SSRI to help with the panic.” What?
By this time I was willing to try anything. Having two or three panic attacks every day was exhausting and my quality of life was just shot. So that afternoon I took a Sertraline and, wow, the rest of that day I was panic-free. And the next day and the next. OMG.
I was furious with my counselor. Why had she not told me about a pharmaceutical “cure”. It could have saved me needless suffering. Years of suffering! And those who have never experienced a panic attack or a PTSD episode do not know mental suffering in just the way we do. It is indescribable mental anguish.
Death is there, staring you square in the face and you must either flee or die. You cannot even rationalize it. That is the definition of the dis-ease. Your body just takes over while your mind becomes one big vibrating blob of fear. And your life? Your life is nothing more, in that moment, than a scene out of nightmare in which you are glaringly awake. Every hair is on end. Every pulse rings loud in your ears and you are the star of your very own horror movie.
So…
I got on the internet and began doing a little research. Yes, Sertraline was used for anxiety. And surprisingly, one of the things I read was that patients occasionally do not have a relapse of symptoms after a few months of treatment. I thought, well that wouldn’t be me.
But then, a few months in, maybe four or five, I forgot to take my daily dose. Nothing happened. I got right back on it. In a couple of weeks I forgot again. This time for two or three days and nothing happened. Had I become one of the lucky few?
I began experimenting. Longer periods, however, did result in more episodes and paranoia. Still, I persisted, telling myself that when the negative symptoms appeared, I would take my meds again. This worked except for the problem of recurring negative side-effects.
Most pharmaceuticals have negative side-effects. With the Sertraline mine were sleeplessness at night, drowsiness during the day, jaw clenching, teeth chattering, and ridiculously dry nose and mouth. So, even though these meds helped with my illness, they were no picnic. This was a good part of my wanting to be off of them.
Now, the doctor had also prescribed Diazepam (Valium). I hadn’t messed with those much. After eight months I still had 10 out of the 15 prescribed. I began taking those instead of the Sertraline, for my now occasional anxiety (because of the negative side-effects of the Sertraline). Now, mind you, if you STAY on the Sertraline, they say that those symptoms recede after a while. But going on and off? That just caused them to recur every time.
So the Valium worked, to my amazement, and without any side-effects at all other than the complete disappearance of my paranoia and anxiety. But when I talked to my doctor the next time she suggested,"Let’s try a different SSRI then” other than the Sertraline. So last week my doctor prescribed a new drug for my anxiety episodes: CITA-LOPRAM HYDRO-BROMIDE.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
"Citalopram (trade names: Celexa, Cipramil) is an antidepressant drug of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) class. It has FDA approval to treat major depression, and is prescribed off-label for a number of anxiety conditions.
History
Citalopram (pronounced /saɪˈtælɵpræm/)[2] was originally created in 1989[3] by the pharmaceutical company Lundbeck. The patent expired (at first glance I thought it said “The patient expired”) in 2003, allowing other companies to legally produce generic versions.
But, just like the Sertraline, it made me feel really weird the next day - like I was on a drug. I had a strange buzzing in my belly. I had taken it at bedtime for anxiety as prescribed and, unlike with the Zoloft, I slept great. Plus, I had no midday drowsiness or nose and mouth dryness the next day. But... there was more on the downside: Some slight teeth-clenching, although not as intense as with the Sertraline and... I had three panic attacks! So, Citalopram was not for me either.
Oh, yes, I forgot about the loss of appetite (also with the Sertraline). Great for weight reduction but I’d rather eat and enjoy my food (and have to pay with exercise later) than have my appetite completely destroyed artificially. By 5pm that day I’d had only 230 calories. Not healthy.
The first thing to do for your weight and health is quit sugar. See my book The Sugar Addict’s Diet: A Primer for the Low Sugar Lifestyle (New Century Publishing, 2001). Sugar causes all manner of mental as well as physical symptoms and is the main culprit of binge eating.
So I decided to go back to the Diazepam for my occasional episodes. It works great for me in that regard. I’m only taking it as needed which, for me, is about 3-4 times a month. Compare that to the 2-3 times a day episodes before any medication. So I am actually a convert to pharmaceuticals. I used to be entirely opposed, believing that all-natural living could cure anything. Menopause relieved me of that opinion.
Still, there’s a place for self-education and experiment. The doctor reminded me, though, that everyone responds differently. My negative symptoms with the Sertraline were more severe than most and less severe than most with the Valium. She noted that the Diazepam (Valium) was considered highly addictive and that I was one of the lucky few that didn’t seem to have a problem with that.
So…
Last words: Do see a counselor. And you don’t need to avoid medication entirely. It might be the answer you’ve been looking for.
P.S. Okay, so they weren't my last words. I'd really like to end on a lighter note. Everyone should learn CPR. Here's a video to get you started.
Image via Wikipedia
