Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Cat Opens Refrigerator VIDEO funny animals

I once had a cat named Aleister (named after the infamous Aleister Crowley!) who was just about as smart as this one.

I watched Aleister, one day (unbeknownst to him!), try to sneakily open our back door, which was a set of sliding glass doors.

1. He pulled out the stick I had placed in the floor crack (for safety against break-ins) with his paw.

2. Then he jumped to the bookshelf near the door (right at handle height).

3. Then he leaned over and unlocked the latch on the door with his paw.

4. Then he used both paws to try to slide the door open.

I was both amazed and aghast. Holy Cow. This was some smart cat. Fortunately, his little body wasn't strong enough to get the door to slide open. But WOW.

Then there's this little guy. ENJOY!
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Saturday, January 7, 2012

Standup Comedy Movie Review: "John Caparulo: Meet John"

English: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Cap...Image via Wikipedia
OMG! This is the funniest effer ever!! Haven't laughed this hard in ages. I love this guy sooooo much... my stomach hurts.

Catch it on Netflix Instant Play (I receive no compensation for this endorsement).

"John Caparulo: Meet John" DO MEET JOHN! You'll be glad you did..

P.S. I actually did some standup comedy back in the 80's, here in Salt Lake. I was part of a comedy group called "Gag Reflex" and met some of the greats (none of whom would remember me!)... Ellen Degeneres, Jenny Jones, Carrot Top, and RoseAnne Barr - whose brother actually owned my apartment building at the time!)... I think. Thirty years makes things a little fuzzy.

Anyway... One thing I DO remember well, is RoseAnne taking me aside in the women's room and telling that it was a man's business (what isn't?!) and that I would need to work harder than men to get the attention I needed to succeed.
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Friday, January 6, 2012

Comedy Movie Reviews: "Club Paradise, 1986" Robin Williams, Twiggy

Cover of "Club Paradise"Cover of Club ParadiseSome light-hearted fun (like drinking a little earlier on the weekend!). The movie: "Club Paradise" with a young skinny Robin Williams and the (into perpetuim) skinny Twiggy, 1986. Timeless.

Favorite Line (and oh so true!):
"Let her have some fun... The thing to do with women is buy them anything they want, agree with whatever they say, make 'em happy... and jump 'em when they aren't looking."

FUN, FUN, FUN! Check it out.

Available now on Netflix Instant Play (I receive no compensation for this endorsement).






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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Horror Comedy Movie Reviews:Tucker & Dale vs Evil, 2010

Tucker & Dale vs EvilTucker & Dale vs Evil (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)This movie just blew me away. I so underestimated it. Wow, what a "Sleeper". I'd never even heard of it and, boy, was it great. I've tried to watch horror movie satires before, and they just didn't fly. But this one can hold its head high.

New favorite movie.

Excellent writing, acting, direction, timing... you name it. I just loved it. A little gore. Not too much T & A and whole lotta laugh-out-louds.

Please do not miss this one.

P.S. For a fun early look at Alan Tudyk (and Jack Black!) check out "The X-Files: Season 3: Ep.3". OOPS! Upon further investigation I see that it's another case of actor look-a-likes. The kid I thought was Alan Tudyk is actually Giovanni Ribisi. For images, pics CLICK HERE.

For pics of Alan Tudyk CLICK HERE.


To see ALL this week's Blog Posts, click on the blog title (Body Beauty Bliss) above!
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Sunday, December 25, 2011

Lisa Lampanelli "The Queen of Mean" ADULT HUMOR RAUNCHY

Lisa Lampanelli @ The ParamountImage by Chrontourage via FlickrIf you haven't yet seen "Insult Comic" Lisa Lampanelli, you've been missing out. She is Ms. Politically INCORRECT and it's a laugh riot. I'm going to go ahead and call her my new favorite Standup Comedian.

Right now I'm watching "Lisa Lampanelli: Dirty Girl: No Protection" (on Netflix Instant Play). It's my favorite show (of hers) so far and not to be missed.

Her type of comedy is rare. Some of you may be old enough to remember Don Rickles. I grew up in Las Vegas, so I was very familiar with his "act". Didn't get it at first. But I think Lisa has perfected it. You'll laugh out loud. I promise. Nothing is off-limits.
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Sunday, December 4, 2011

Funny VIDEOS: TaeKwonDo Toddlers, How to Silence a Crying Baby, Arab Man learns the Treadmill, Banned Viagra Commercial

Yahoo had some great videos today! TaeKwonDo Toddlers!
How to silence your crying baby:

This one I found on YouTube while trying to find "Woman dances on treadmill" by Yahoo. It's an Arab man learning the Treadmill. This is NOT to make fun of Arab people. This is just funny. There are plenty of funny videos by Americans too, and others, on YouTube. Enjoy.
Hopefully, you'll laugh as hard as I did:

And just ONE MORE. Sorry, but I couldn't resist... A Banned Viagra Commercial:
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Monday, October 10, 2011

Martial Arts Movie Reviews: The Comedy "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist"

Jackie Chan began his film career as a stuntma...Image via WikipediaWho doesn't love Kung Pao Chicken?! Wish I had me some right now.

"Kung Pow: Enter the Fist"...

This one took me by surprise. I was laughing from the opening scene... "The Chosen One!". Very funny. Definitely a satire. Satire means CLICHE' and this is as cliche' as it gets (plus a few unexpected moments... like the "So cute!" scene). For those of you that have loved the dubbed Chinese martial arts genre for a while now, this one's a real kick. Get it?

Of course, this is a take on Bruce Lee's "Enter the Dragon", which makes it all the more fun.

I'm not a big fan of animated babies, but the sound effects associated with it make it hilarious. And then the chinese  baby grows up to be a white guy? LOL. Pure silliness. And the battle of the tongues. It gets a little stale through the middle but don't miss the Kung Fu Cow.

And the belated bark? OMG. I laughed so hard.


Favorite Lines:
"Your story makes my heart heavy and my prostate weak.""

"And then he killed the dog... I now officially know too much."

"I am a man of many needs. You will now receive the fist of fury." Fortunately, the little ones will receive this an an over-sight.

As martial artists, we have a tendency to take ourselves much too seriously anyway. So a little comedy relief is in order. I highly a suggest "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist". Why not have a fun Martial Arts Movie Night at your club? The kids, especially, will love it.
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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Lizard Birth Funny Story

Two of Sesame Street's most famous characters:...Image via Wikipedia
This was forwarded to me from my friend, Roy (very funny!):


Lizard Birth

If you've raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious,Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. 

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!"

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. 

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared.  I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know.

"Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. . Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back" He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So, Ernie's just, just . . . excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle.

And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. Tears were now running down her face. "It's just ... that ...I'm picturing you pulling on its . . . its . . . teeny little. . ."

She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140.

One cage: $50.

Trip to the vet: $30.

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:

Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.

Lizards lay eggs!

by Angus Whitton

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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Whitney Cummings: Too Gorgeous for Standup

Rosie O'Donnell at the premiere of I Am Becaus...Image via Wikipedia
WHITNEY CUMMINGS

Too gorgeous for comedy but funny none the less.

Not highly, but recommended.
For HOT IMAGES of Whitney CLICK HERE!


Warning: Adult Humor

"Women are amazing fighters... emotional Ninjas!".

"The Silent Treatment is NOT a REWARD (to men)."

"We always express the opposite emotion of what we are actually feeling."

"As women, we may not be able to do much, but we can DUPLICATE! Give me the backseat of a Taurus and... "


Again Warning: Strong sexual language, explicit descriptions... et.al.

Available on Netflix Instant Play (They should pay me for this! They actually rejected my Blog as an affiliate, can you believe it? I can't. EFFEM.)


P.S. I did Standup Comedy for one year. I met Rosie O'donnell (She said to me in the women's room, "Don't let this Patriarchal Business get you down." and I also met Jenny Jones (You're asking, "Who's Jenny Jones?" She had her own TV show for a while too.)
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