Friday, August 19, 2011

Krav Maga Women! HOT TOUGH Athletic (Fight Quest)

Whether you're just starting out in the martial arts and trying to figure out which style is best for you... or you're an "Old Timer" like me, this Discovery Channel show "Fight Quest" is a must-see.

Two American guys (MMA Fighter Jimmy Smith and Doug Anderson) travel the world checking out different forms of martial arts and then they compete with the locals. It's good old fighting FUN!

This clip shows a female Krav Maga instructor ("Watch and Learn"):
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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Zombie Movie Therapy (Zombie Movie List, Best Zombie Movies)

Cover of "The Serpent and the Rainbow"Cover of The Serpent and the RainbowSo yesterday I decided that I would challenge my PTSD (through "Desensitization") even further by watching more zombie movies.

A while back I started with "Shaun of the Dead", funny but gross and it did give me nightmares. Then I tried "Zombie Land" with Woody Harrelson. Again, the same results: funny, gross, nightmares. So I put that on hold for a while and went back to my old stand-by: Alien Sci-Fi Horror. But good ones are few and far between.

I hate Zombie movies. Number one, because they are based in reality: Haitian Voodoo practices where, generally, Black Magic Witch Doctors drugged people into appearing dead (actually fooling doctors).

They then buried them, only to dig them up later (still alive). Certainly a traumatic experience in and of itself. But these Black Magic practitioners took it a step further by convincing their victims that they actually were the "walking dead".

I imagine the drug they used is somewhat Rufi-like... allowing the "Maker" free license to direct the victim.

The drug was featured in the fantastic Wes Craven film "The Serpent and the Rainbow"... and is now used in American medical practices. The movie was inspired, apparently, by a "true documentary", a book written by, ethnobotanist, Wade Davis, 1985.

From Wikipedia:
"The drug named in the film is tetrodotoxin. In the actual "zombification" case of Clairvius Narcisse of Haiti, the poison that caused the appearance of death was reported to be tetrodotoxin. After he was unburied, he was given a brew derived from Datura stramonium, which he claimed had mind control properties." So... for full effect, there were two drugs?!

Anyway, the number two reason I hate zombie movies is that they involve cannibalism, another really dreadful thing that has actually occurred in history. Ironically, in most zombies movies, people develop into zombies because of some apocolyptic virus that infects them. But the fact of the matter is, that that theme is entirely backwards.

It was actually a virus that did in cannibalism. You might remember something called "Mad Cow Disease". Apparently, beef were fed beef which resulted in a catastrophic event. An animal cannot devour its own kind due some kind of enzymatic process that results in... well, Mad Cow Disease.

But, even before that, there was a human-originated virus that did in the New Guinea population (known cannibalists).

Cannibalistic cultures have existed throughout time, from New Guinea to the Caribbean with cases reported well into the late '70s, I might add. Most were due to the ceremonial practice of eating the remains of one's relatives (AFTER they passed away)... for spiritual union.

But, in some cases, they munched on their enemies. In the Caribbean, the last known cases were those of a Catholic Jesuit Priest and his nuns.


For my first foray back into the world of zombies, Netflix suggested the Classic "Night of the Comet"( "Hey, I'm sorry if the end of the world makes me a little nervous"). Of course, I was creeped out right away and put it on hold (even with all its 80's charm), and I wondered 'What was the first Zombie movie? A search pulled up this gem: "The White Zombie" from 1936, starring none other than Boris Karloff.

If you put aside all the early over-acting, it's actually a lot of fun. I was hooked. So today I'm after the first horror movie ever made. I'll let you know how it goes. I found "The Golem", 1920. Can't wait to check it out. First written in 1914!

What was interesting about the lead into this one was that it was a monster set out to destroy the Jewish population. Think about it... Hitler came shortly thereafter.

Later: Got side-tracked and found another zombie film with a humorous, campy slant: A 2009 New Zealand release called "Last of the Living". I found it just precious and it's probably my favorite so far. If you like this genre, I think you'll really enjoy this one... three fraternity buddies enjoy post-apocalyptic reign until...

However, although I LOVED the soundtrack... I hated the ending. Still, it's worthy a watch.

My favorite line:
"Well, STUFF YOU!" (after one of them is razzed for wearing too much zombie protective gear).

My Gratitude Statement for Today:
I am grateful that zombies are slow, dull-witted, and are only impervious to bullets until you chop their heads off.  ; )
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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Flat Belly Diet MOTIVATION Hot n SEXY

Bikini ModelImage by memoflores via FlickrMy MOTIVATION for a flat sexy (bikini) belly:
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Monday, August 15, 2011

VIDEO An Awesome Korean TAE KWON DO Demo

Stretching to increase flexibility is an impor...Image via Wikipedia
An awesome demonstration of Korean Tae Kwon Do that includes a woman defending her boyfriend against three assailants:
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Sunday, August 14, 2011

Martial Arts Movie Reviews: The Hammer w Adam Corolla

US Navy 030327-N-9693M-002 Lt. Cmdr. Philip Cr...Image via Wikipedia
My New Favorite Martial Arts Film is "The Hammer" with Adam Corolla.

It's serious. It's funny. It's fun!

Adam Corolla, of The Man Show, is absolutely outstanding as a serious actor. Surprise, surprise. But the script (probably Adam's interpretation of it) is light enough that you'll want to see this film again.

It's a boxing flick with the usual 'aging contender gets a second chance' theme. But there are enough twists to keep it interesting and amusing.

As an added bonus, I learned a new Speed Bag routine. Watch for it.

"The Hammer" comes HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Note: If you haven't figured it out yet, I don't review the big Hollywood IT NOW films. For me it's all about the ones you've probably never heard of - the offbeat but worthy. The ones you'd miss if I didn't tell you about 'em.

AND, if it sucks, I won't even waste your time with a review. Thanks for listening.

I saw this film on Netflix Instant Play.
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Friday, August 12, 2011

Martial Arts AFFIRMATIONS to IMPROVE your SKILLS

Two women fighting martial artImage via WikipediaAffirmations to improve martial arts skills.

If you don't like the music, you can hit the MUTE button, as I do. I find the silence more soothing. Watch repeatedly for best effects:
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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Lizard Birth Funny Story

Two of Sesame Street's most famous characters:...Image via Wikipedia
This was forwarded to me from my friend, Roy (very funny!):


Lizard Birth

If you've raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious,Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. 

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!"

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. 

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared.  I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know.

"Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. . Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back" He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So, Ernie's just, just . . . excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle.

And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. Tears were now running down her face. "It's just ... that ...I'm picturing you pulling on its . . . its . . . teeny little. . ."

She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140.

One cage: $50.

Trip to the vet: $30.

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:

Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.

Lizards lay eggs!

by Angus Whitton

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