My favorite new past-time (I think it should be spelled pass-time) is watching the
TV shows "
Hoarders", "
Clean House", and "Obssessed". All three of these shows deal with the OCD (
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) of
hoarding stuff... to the extreme.
Am I a hoarder? I thought so and I guess I am because I have always tended toward clutter. But my case is in no way as severe as some of these patients. Still, I had some of these attributes. Do you?:
1. Do you keep "stuff" for purely sentimental reasons?
2. Do you keep toiletries, food, or medicines long past the expiration date?
3. Do you hold onto things, even though YOU don't need them, because they're "still good"?
4. Do you have clothes in your closet that no longer fit or are decades out of fashion?
5. Do you have "project" materials waiting to be created... "Someday I'll get to it."
6. Do you have sealed boxes of stuff stored away somewhere that you haven't looked at in years?
7. Does it cause you anxiety when someone else tries to take control of your stuff... your "mess"?
8. Are you embarrassed to have people over? Do you AVOID having people over?
9. Do you feel SHAME and GUILT but don't know how to stop? Do others try to make you feel ashamed and guilty?
If you answered yes to any of these questions you should give these shows a try. I've found that I've learned a lot about myself by watching these "hoarders". In every show I find a bit of advice that I can use to help remedy my own problem and they inspire me to get to work.
For instance, I used to ignore expiration dates. Here are a few more questions you can ask yourself:
1. How long has it been since I used it? Will I use it? Can somebody else get good use out of it NOW? If it's "still good", you can give it to a
charity store like
Goodwill or the
Salvation Army.
2. Does it fit? Is it still in fashion? How long since I've worn it? More than 2 years? Is it even my style? Does it look becoming on me? Could someone else get better use out of it... right now?
3. Does it actually NEED to be saved? I know tax information should be saved (they say) for at least seven years. But I have
bank statements from 20 years ago! And saving an old checkbook from a closed account even got me into trouble once. A thief stole it and wrote bad checks and that information appeared on my credit report. BE WARNED.
4. Is it out of date? Check! Then chuck it if it is... food, medications, toiletries. It may be unhealthy or unsanitary to use it now.
5. Will I really "find the time" to finish that project? Be honest with yourself. If the answer is no, let someone have it who WILL get good use out of it... NOW.
You'll find that PURGING can actually feel as good as (or even better than) ACQUIRING. I keep a box ready and every day (my rule is) something, at least one thing, gets thrown out or given away.
If you're feeling really ambitious, you can make it one thing per room! For me, that's 7 items per day (which amounts to over 200 items per month!) and, I must say, that it didn't really become a HABIT until I started doing one thing per room/area. Now, I actually say things like, "I still GET
TO DO my seven items today!".... and it feels so good. I feel like I'm moving forward, finally, instead of backwards. I have pride instead of guilt.
The thing that makes this HABIT so great, is that you are starting at the BOTTOM of the pyramid (aka pile). You are looking for the item you are LEAST attached to. The whole trick is to AVOID OVERWHELM. That's what got us into this mess in the first place. We walked into a room/house and went,"Oh, my God! I just can't deal with this" or "How the hell DO I deal with this?" The really neat thing is that it gets easier and easier. Instead of just looking for a piece of garbage on the floor, you're actually getting rid of those "good jeans" that, if you're honest with yourself, you'll never wear again.
We also try to throw out at least one (plastic) grocery bag of household/kitchen garbage per day. Sometimes two or three.
Oh, yeah, and I almost forgot. The real key is to
stop bringing it in. Imagine a clogged sink with a drippy faucet. The drippy faucet is YOU bringing stuff in (until it over-flows!) because the drain is clogged (nothing is going out!). But if you unclog the drain, everything will be alright. You should still fix the faucet, however.
It was easy for me (because I've been unemployed these last few months) and no money was coming in to spend! I still needed food, though, and got some help with that. But that was it. The only thing I allowed myself to purchase was FOOD.
And what a revelation it's been. I am HAPPIER than ever! I know it's cliche', but I am finding immense joy in the small things.
Early on I shopped at department stores. Then I shifted to discount stores. Then
second hand shops. And finally to garage sales. All the while telling myself that it was about saving money. But the
STUFF kept piling up. With the help of these shows (which I highly recommend and found on Netflix Instant Play), this year I quit even garage-sailing (as I called it). Now, at last, stuff just goes out. There's light at the end of the tunnel. Ahh.
And a really big plus is that IT SAVES MONEY! Who couldn't use a little more money these days.
Please note, too, as you will learn if you watch any of these shows, that hoarding may stem from disturbing events or circumstances. And that, although it may cause you shame or guilt, you needn't feel bad (I know - easy to say) because it may actually be genetic... something you inherited. There may be a hoarding gene! (see related articles below). "They" are saying now that whether you are a "neat freak" or a "hoarder", it's in your
DNA.
So relax. Maybe it WILL take you a year to clear just one room. That's okay. As long as you are "moving in the direction of", you'll get there.
Image via Wikipedia
